The Sky Is Falling! Now What?!
what you can do when you're feeling overwhelmed or out of control
In today's edition of Burke's Bits:
A Mindful Moment
A Copy Tip
From the Research Files
Pun of the Day
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A Mindful Moment
"I don't know what to do!" she cried.
"I'm supposed to go to a job interview tomorrow but my nice clothes don't fit and my daughter won't talk to me and the house manager says I have to finish this essay and.."
she stopped to take a breath and was about to begin again when I interrupted.
"Hold on a second. You're panicking. There's no reason to panic. I need you to take a breath and tell me one thing at a time."
Through the phone I could hear her take a deep breath. And exhale slowly. I continued to talk to her...
"I know you're scared. I also know you've come a long way from that first day we met. You were fresh out of rehab and scared you couldn't change - remember what we talked about? How when you feel overwhelmed and scared you can get control of yourself?"
She sighed and said "Oh yeah! I do remember! But walk me through it. Please?"
I was happy to help. What I walked her through is an exercise I share with many women just like her. Women who are in the throes of panic because they're overwhelmed or livid with anger or feeling out of control.
It's all about being mindful and I hope you find it helpful.
Take Back The Moment
This is a simple and effective method to take back control of your mind and emotions when you feel frenzied or in the middle of chaos. Or when you’re feeling so overwhelmed you don’t know what to do next.
Basically, what I do is take a deep breath, and literally take a step backward.
While I do this I tell myself I am stepping away from the chaos and frenzy so I can get clarity about what is happening.
I take another deep breath. A deep breath in through the nose. As I release this breath through my mouth I tell myself I have no emotional attachment to what is happening right now and am really interested in 'seeing' what is happening...right now.
I will continue with the deep breaths until I am fully "in the moment" and able to objectively understand what I am feeling and understand why.
Often I find there really isn't anything going on that I can do anything about.
Instead, what I've done is combine this morning's rushed feeling of working with a client and having to drink cold coffee with the anxious feeling of an approaching deadline and thinking about this evening's dinner plans with friends.
There is no evidence of chaos or frenzy in front of me.
As I see this, I take another deep breath and say to myself "there is nothing I can do about what has happened up to this moment" and then ask myself "what needs my attention now?"
Quickly I relax and am able to focus my attention on the moment, the task I need to do right now.
With this woman in particular, she started to feel anxious about a job interview and then spiraled out of control when she added the hurt feelings about her daughter and the unmet expectations of the house manager.
After I walked her through the exercise she was able to detach her emotions from each situation, look at each one, and get clarity on exactly what she could or could not do to change it. Ultimately, she accepted that - for this moment - the only thing she has control over is make a decision to wear something different to the job interview.
It's a simple yet powerful exercise. I encourage you to try it yourself.
And let me know if it works for you!
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A Copy Tip
One of the biggest problems a lot of people have is they get so excited about what they're selling they forget that copy is not about the product, service, or program. It’s about the customer.
You have to start with the customer:
Who is this person?
What’s on their mind?
What’s their life like?
These are the kind of questions you need to ask.
Then, if you’re solving a problem for them:
What is their problem?
What is their desire?
What have they tried that didn't work?
Think about your offer. What are you offering them? What are they going to get? What’s are the benefits? Get these clear in your mind.
Have the answers to those questions? Great! Now, write the headline or subject line.
If you know what your customer is experiencing and you know the solution, say so in your headline. Don't edit. Don't think about it too much right now. You'll refine it later. Get the headline written and then write a short paragraph that focuses on where they are ... right now.
Then talk about the benefits of your offer. How it solves their problem. How they will feel when their problem is solved. If you find yourself stuck on writing only about features - color, size, buttons to push, whistles that blow - beside each one write the benefit. This should help you get back on track.
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From the Research Files
aka random bits of info you may or may not be able to use in your life
Even though earthworms need to breathe, they have no lungs. They acquire oxygen through their skin. This is why earthworms surface after heavy rains, despite the fact that it is extremely hazardous for them to do so. If they don’t surface, they will suffocate and die because the heavy water content of the soil after rain doesn’t allow gases to diffuse across their skin.
Biology and ecology of earthworms, Volume 3
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Pun of the Day
Q: Why do worms make great friends?
A: Because they are always down to earth.
With Gratitude,
Charlene Burke
Let's Connect
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." ~ Albert Einstein
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